The Mom Factor: Overwhelm and Worry
As mothers, we create an internal sense of having to do it all and know it all. And not only do we have to do it all, we must do it perfectly! This leads to a sense of failure. We cannot live up to these expectations.
Well I have news, Mama. This is INTERNAL. These are expectations that we have of ourselves. I am willing to bet that no one else has these expectations of us. We tell ourselves stories that we must do it all perfectly.
But is this true?
Does your husband expect you to do it all on your own? Or is he willing to help if you ask?
Does your best friend expect your house to be spotless when she brings her kids over to play? Highly unlikely. I bet she would be happy with a cup of coffee and a good long chat.
When we tell ourselves these stories that set us up for failure, it is isolating. These thoughts start to downward spiral.
You feel alone in it all and it completely absorbs you.
Mama, you are not alone. Many other moms feel this way. They lay awake in bed at night asking questions: Why is my child sick? Why can’t I get answers? Am I healthy enough to get pregnant? Can I support this pregnancy? Why do I feel like this?
I have been there with you. I have gotten out of bed at midnight to rotate the laundry. This is ridiculous because it didn’t matter. My husband didn’t care – he was sleeping. My kids didn’t care – they still had clean clothes to wear. And the dog looked at me like I was crazy – because I was!
It is easy to let worries control our life and turn into overwhelm. I have a list of five steps you can take to help reduce your worry and overwhelm.
Step 1: Ask for help
Sometimes you just have to ask. Easier said than done – right? Remember, asking for help does not make you weak, it makes you strong. It takes confidence, determination, and strength to know that it is time to ask for help. So, take this first step. Ask your husband to help with the house work. Ask your parents to baby sit one night a week. Ask your friends to talk with you. Ask your Cedarburg Chiropractor for resources.
Step 2: Block out time for Self-Care
Self-care doesn’t have to be trendy nail shops and winter tanning beds. Make it what nourishes your soul and revitalizes your spirit. Its hard for me to tell you what YOU need for self-care. However, I will give you examples of what I like to do.
For the last 3 years I have been wanting to do a postpartum strengthening class. THREE YEARS! Yesterday I did it. Do the thought of stairs make me cringe today? Yes. But I cannot emphasize enough how much I wish I would have done it sooner. It felt so good to take time out of my day and take care of me. I also make it a point to go to bible study and play groups at my church. It strengthens my relationship with Jesus and truly makes a difference in my day to day life.
Step 3: Get Adjusted
You had to know it was coming – I am your Cedarburg Chiropractor after all. Chiropractors work with your nervous system, the master control center of your body. How cool is that!? Getting adjusted reconnects your brain to your body. It can give you back your sense of self. It strengthens your connection within yourself and with others. Chiropractic is connection. And isn’t that what you do every day as a mother? The connection that you make with your children is unprecedented. Only you can do it! How incredible it is to strengthen that connection with chiropractic care!
Step 4: Create a Community
The also comes back to connection. What groups do you have available to connect with in your community? Ozaukee county has a ton of groups. You can find a list of my favorites HERE. Taking the time to develop a community is important for you because you need a support system. Being a mom is hard work, and often you need other moms who understand you to get through it.
Step 5: Be Present
This might be the hardest step – that’s why I left it for last. There have been times in parenting when I have literally had to step back from what was happening. I didn’t want to lose it. So, when it feels like everything is out of control, step back. This is the time I take to stop, evaluate, and acknowledge all the
gifts that God has given me. I take a moment to appreciate them. Then I return to my life and ENJOY it! What a difference it makes!
So, Mama, don’t lose sleep. You are not alone. Ask for help. Take care of yourself. Get adjusted. Reconnect. Be present.
And remember: The secret is not that motherhood is hard, the secret is that you are strong!
- Dr Camille Berger